I havent slept in over 72 hours.....I feel like dying.....what sweet release that would bring...this weekend was shit......I dont ever want to think about it again.....too much Captain Morgan went into my system....made me make horrible decisions....made me piss people off....made me ruin relationships.......made me hate myself more.....made me cut like a mother......I am SO sick of feeling like a zombie.....I walk around day after day dealing with everyone in my life......with fake smiles and laughs...with forced hugs and comments....and Im tired of it....I want to be real with everyone...but I know if I do that then everyone will leave me....no one wants to deal with someone who is always down......I just want to be left the fuck alone.....A part of me doesnt want people in my life anymore....I dont want people's advice on how to handle my problems.....I just want......ugh...I dont no what I want anymore...I dont know who I am anymore....Katie.....Lia.....a nobody....a somebody....who knows....cause I sure as hell dont.....I've decided right now...I GIVE UP.....Im DONE trying......and I think I'm done blogging....no one reads this....because no one cares......
Lia/Katie
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