Graduation...Jobs....Life

Everything is becoming overwhelmingly stressful. Graduation is 5 months away! I havent ordered my cap and gown, or my tassel. Although my grandmother gave me the money for it I havent filled out the order form yet because everytime I look at it the thing gets more complicated. Plus I have no stamps to send it anyway.
Everytime I think about graduation I think about college and getting a job. I want to go to tech school in the city. Im halfway accepted all I have to do is take a drug test. But I cant because I dont have an I.D. because I lost it!!!! DAMN MYSELF!!!!! I want to go to tech school for phlabotomy which is blood taking and lab work. After graduation Im moving in with my grandparents so I can be closer to my school. So I'll have to get a job which scares me shitless. Im not a huge people person and Ive only ever had one job which sucked ass by the way. But I do need the money for school. Once I get my liscense for phlabotomy I'll get a job at one of the hospitals and go back to school for Crime Scene and Trauma Cleanup. Yes! I plan on cleaning up murder and suicide scences blood and guts etc. You may think thats weird but Im good at cleaning...they make big bucks...and none of that stuff creeps me out.
See I've got all these plans and goals Im just not sure if I can do it. The only thing thats holding me back is myself. I want to make money and move to Ireland. I just dont know if Im smart enough to do all the things I want. I dont believe that Im good enough. GRRRRRR!!!!!
I dont want to grow up. I didnt sign on for this. I had no say in being born!!!!!! BLEH!!!!!