Thats what my heart was doing the other night and I'll tell you why. Wednesday night I went to a play a few towns over with my bestie Alley. We had a good time on the way there we were talking about her boyfriend Rich and we were rocking out to some Hailstrom. It was all good. Well Alley had mentioned that her friend Caleb was in the play but I didnt think of it until much later. The play was amazing it was a play about people putting on a play and they kept messing it up and such. I hadnt laughed that hard in a long time. Well afterwards we went to the lobby and got to talk to all the actors and I got to offically meet Caleb. I was kind of nervous because as I was watching the play I couldnt help but notice how incredibly cute Caleb was. So as we were walking up to him I was planning on what I was going to say to him and I had all these great lines. So we get up to him and Alley gives him a hug then she turns to me and says "Oh and this is my friend Lia"....and thats when my mind went completely blank. Because up close I got to see just how truly adorable he was. I couldnt think of anything to say but "Hi" I'm honestly surprised that I didnt start drooling. We and when I say we I mean Alley talked to Caleb for a little bit but then we had to get going home. When we got outside I turned to Alley and said " You didnt tell me how cute he was going to be". So we started talking about him and Alley wants to hook us up. I grateful for that but I have to accept that its never going to happen. Someone like Caleb would never go for someone like me. Its foolish and selfish to think he would ever like me. Plus I've only talked to him once, and all I said was a meak little "Hi". Bleh sometimes I hate myself why couldnt I have just walked up to him and said something cool....why do I have to mumble and be such a loser...GAH!! Other than that little mishap I had a wonderful time with Alley. And Thurdays night Alley, Paris, Jill, and I all went to New Moon together. I'm surprised we didnt get kicked out we were so loud. It was great. I wish I could go out more.
I know I keep going on about this but I cant stop replaying that scene in my head. I just cant believe I didnt say anything to him. I mean I know he doesnt know me and I'll never be more than a face in the crowd to him but I just wish I would have made myself seem a little less retarded.
Well my wrist is hurting from typing so fast so I''ll just have to finish my ranting another time...
Until Next Time
LIA
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bahahahaha gahh i love u! tehehe oos super cute! a sides next party ur commin wid and then ur going to cvilles play wid me and Cal promised hed try out! :D tehehehehe!
ReplyDeleteHey loveley,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. It was very nice.
I'm so glad you had a good time. That is exactly what you needed. To get out with friends and just live without a care in the world. Not worried where you'll be or who you'll meet.
You just need to stay away from home. Just get out all the time, and never be alone, because that's when depression kicks in because it know's your vunerable.
I'm so proud of you. You've come such a long way's. I know that soon once you become happy and well,.... active...you won't need this blog anymore. And then My work will be done.
It's like a mother bird and her baby bird. Today's the day you can leave the nest
and you will cause mother's gonna be right there to help you make that one big step..that one leap.
So little bird close your eyes, spread out your wings, take a deep breath in.......
and Jump.
Hope-