Friday, January 8, 2010
Is It Silly?
Is it silly to have hope? Im beginning to think it is. Im losing hope for myself. Ive never been the nicest person in the world and Im starting to wonder if thats why Im suffocating in loneliness now. I cant be someone Im not but I guess that goes both ways doesnt it? I wish I was someone who didnt mind being alone all the time. I can handle solitude in small doses but I wouldnt complain if there was someone around that I could turn to. Or maybe Im just being a whiny bitch and I just need to suck it up. and except the fact that everyone has their own life and Im not in any of them. I just wish I could rip this sadness out of me and throw it away. I hate this - no one told me I would feel this way when I grew up. I want my fairy tale ending damn it!! Dont I deserve that much? Or am I just being a selfish bitch who needs to grow up? You tell me....
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You deserve your happy tale ending. (i almost put tail. AHHH Im such a dumbass) >.<
ReplyDeleteLol.
Is it silly to have hope.....
I wondered and searched for such a simple anwser.
And you know what I found....
No.
For me to say such a thing....is a miracle.
Hope...is a monster..hope is shame. And yet Even i know in the end...
Hope is true..but Im not.
Thats why I really hate my name....not cause it fails me..
But i fail it.
Life is like a big test. And each thing we do corisponds to how well we do on a test.
Hope is always there. Almost like a cheat sheet. It's how you use it that makes the test passed or failed.
You can have all the hope in the world...but the real test..the real way in live to pass is not to hope..
But to act.
You can hope you'll eat at 5 tonight, but if you dont get out of bed till 5:50, you'll be eating late again for dinner.
I know you can pass this test. Because its easy and you know it. Your eyes are blinded from all the pain you suffer from.
And all you have to is wipe them away, look at your cheat sheet, and act.
Hope-