"Mom"

Alone in the dark
Barely breathing.
Listening for signs of movement.
Trying not to make any noise.
Trying to be invisible.
Wanting to be elsewhere.
Wanting to be on my own.
So I wont have to live in fear.
Of saying saying or doing something wrong.
Of being a disappointment.
I silently pray for everything to be okay.
You take on look at me and start to yell.
You say things that break my heart.
That make my stomach churn
That make me want to die
Your anger cuts me up inside.
Making me less than whole.
When your done you storm away
Leaving me to think of what you've said.
I sit alone wanting to die
Wondering why Im even alive.
I have trained myself not to cry.
For that does no good.
So I simply sit and wonder why I can do nothing right.
I dream of the someone I want to be.
The someone you would approve of
The someone I yearn to be.
My heart turns to stone
I slowly forget how to feel.
My personal hell is all to real.
My body now feels as if its make of lead.
Your hateful words have left me dead.