Sometimes its like Im two different people. One is happy, and funny. One is a good friend. One knows who they are. One is confident in herself. One can laugh and smile. One is the better of the two. Then theirs the other. The other is dark and serious. The other has no idea who she is. The other constantly feels alone. The other cant bring herself to smile. The other is coming undone. The others laugh sound empty and forced. The others eyes look dead.
Its confusing having these two people inside me. They struggle to be the dominant one to rule me to overcome me. Sometimes I cant even decide which one I want to be for the day. And when something big happens in my life its hard to know which one inside me will react. If its a good day I will react in a rational way if its a bad day my emotions will be all over the place. I keep waiting for one of them to win, to take over. Im waiting for them to decide which person I get to be. Im not sure that there is a way to balance the two people out. Theres also no happy medium. I am only one or the other. It scares me because I dont know what to do. I dont know what I will do if this continues. Im so afraid that I will be completely consumed by the dark side of me. All I want is for the two to balance out. I just want to be me. A sane semi-normal me.
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I have the same thing.
ReplyDeleteAmusing right...?
You know when something wrong though when they start to talk to you.
Lmao.
As long as it hasnt come to that ur good. Though its okay if it ever did cause I know it cause it happened to me and my sister..
Im a pro on shit like that. >.<
Dont you just love a fucked up friend...?
Ya right.
Anyway..
Its normal hun. I promise you. It kills it hurts and its sooo normal.
Your figuring out who you are..and until you do...your gonna feel like two people cause really everyone is..it just goes down to
whos more dominate.
Hope-